My Secret Plans|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Monday, October 24th, 2005|
But to pet me is better than all things; if, under the night stars in the desert, thou presently growest mine catnip before me, invoking me with a pure heart and the dangly toy within, I shalt come a little to sit on thy lap. For one purr wilt thou then be willing to give all; but whoso gives one twitch of a muscle shall lose all in that hour. Ye shall gather goods and store of mice and catnip; ye shall wear white clothes; ye shall exceed the nations of the earth in arrogance and sloth, but all in the love of me; and so shall ye come to my joy. I charge you earnestly to come before me in a soft sweater, and covered with a shiny headdress. I love you. I occasionally deign to notice you. Fat or furry, frightened or ferocious, I who am all purring and sharp claws and rampaging in the middle of the night, demand food in my dish. Put on armored gloves, and arouse the playful terror within you; come play with me! With me! With me! Dangle the shiny cat toy in front of me! I am the golden-eyed predator of midnight; I am the affectionate cuteness of the silken black fur. Pet me! Pet me!
For I am a furry centre of pestilence
, because pestilence attracts small skittering things which are fun to chase. Current Mood: gnostic
|Saturday, June 25th, 2005|
|I don't LIKE this
everything's weird everything smells funny they won't let me OUT of this little room!! i try to make things mine again so i can feel at home and they yell at me!
YOOOWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL Current Mood: scared
|Thursday, January 6th, 2005|
mama put me in a BOX and I was bumped and jiggled around in the dark noisy place and then there were all these strange smells and other cats and DOGS and I was scared and peed but there was no litterbox and then they stuck me with sharp things and held me and wouldn't let me MOVE and then it was the BOX and the dark noisy place all over again
terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day
they better be glad I'm not a vengeful type of kitty. when I conquer them all my rule shall be benevolent, despite the injuries of the past. I may be evil, but I'm not stupid. It is far easier to rule through love and cute, and save the terror and rapaciousness for small skittering things that I can pounce on and rip to shreds.
and... home now. quiet now. mama pets me. food and litterbox and sunbeam.
better now. Current Mood: traumatized
make it stop make it stop make the high hurty noises stop!
the big black thing in the living room is making noise with a strange person. and not the interesting noises, the high hurty noises, over and over and over again. i go ask my person to make it stop with lots of purrs and big-eyes and she pets me but she doesn't make it stop!
MROOOOWWWWRRRrrrrrrrrOOWWWWWRRRRRRR Current Mood: frustrated
|Friday, December 10th, 2004|
I have new pictures.
For I have grown. I am big cat. Ferocious hunter! Queen of predators!
And rolls of paper towels shiver and hide when I am near, for they know the rest of their existence will be naught but shredded agony.
Yes, life is good. Excuse me while I purr. Current Mood: predatory
|Tuesday, December 7th, 2004|
|damn, I'm good.
She may bitch and whine about it, but the human is *so* enslaved to my whims. For I don't come up to cuddle right when she sits down with the computer, oh no. I wait for a while, until her lethargy has well and truly set in and the laptop has made her lap oh so warm and toasty. THEN I appear, purring, nuzzling, blinking up at her with big sleepy eyes. Wreaking havoc on her trackpad by casually draping my paws over it, changing her window focus when she least expects it.
And I am immune to recriminations, for lo, I am cute.
It's good to be me.
*purr* *purr* *purr* Current Mood: devious
|Monday, July 19th, 2004|
BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD
I caught a bird! Look mama!
Hey where you going? Where bird?
No more play?
No more bird. Sadness.
But. I will lurk. I will stalk. I will catch more bird.
Mama mutters about them bleeding on the carpet. Silly mama. Hasn't she heard of blood play? Current Mood: predatory
|Monday, March 1st, 2004|
i explore. monkeys on the bed again.
"are you having fun climbing mount andrei?" he says. "try k2, it's harder."
i burped in his face.
there. Current Mood: accomplished
|Monday, February 16th, 2004|
salty hands to lick. warm body to lie on/under/next to/around.
PURR. Current Mood: recumbent
|Sunday, February 15th, 2004|
|This acursed snake
Once again the humans took off their fur and have hidden themselves under the big, flat, purple moving monster which I will one day destroy.
Right now, I have another problem. I am being stalked by an ugly black snake. It keeps following me. I got the jump on it earlier but it 'turned tail' and ran (so to mew.) You can see it stalking around in the picture of me. (We managed to catch it on film)
I just spent several minutes trying to catch it and wrestle with it on the big, flat, purple, moving monster. The hairier human seemed displeased with this and the purple monster gurgled as well. The monster moved and distracted me from the snake. So I bit the monster. The hairier human must have appreciated by hunting prowess because he shouted something in human in support. It sounded something like, "Ow, she bit my foot again" whatever that means.
The snake seems to have hidden again. So I guess that means it's food time. I think it was food time anyway. Current Mood: infuriated
|Saturday, February 14th, 2004|
Hmm. I am still figuring out this computer thing. It is easier simply to mind-control the human into typing for me, but I still think doing it myself would be marvelous fun. Not to mention perhaps I would find out how to catch the little triangle thing that flits around the big glowing part - she says that's the screen.
I have figured out how to make clicky noises come from the keyboard by standing on it. And sometimes I can make the human yelp by standing on it at appropriate times and making the pictures on the screen move around and flash and stuff.
Further study is definitely required.
Currently, however, there is a used kleenex which requires annihilation. Current Mood: geeky
I am cute. I am evil. I am cat.
They laugh at me, the puny humans jnanacandra
. They laugh, as I train under the guise of 'play' for that day where I shall conquer all.
I am cute. Therein lies my camofluage.
I am evil. Therein lies my advantage.
I am cat. Therein lies my absolute right to do whatever the heck I want. Current Mood: devious