everything's weird everything smells funny they won't let me OUT of this little room!! i try to make things mine again so i can feel at home and they yell at me!
mama put me in a BOX and I was bumped and jiggled around in the dark noisy place and then there were all these strange smells and other cats and DOGS and I was scared and peed but there was no litterbox and then they stuck me with sharp things and held me and wouldn't let me MOVE and then it was the BOX and the dark noisy place all over again
terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day
they better be glad I'm not a vengeful type of kitty. when I conquer them all my rule shall be benevolent, despite the injuries of the past. I may be evil, but I'm not stupid. It is far easier to rule through love and cute, and save the terror and rapaciousness for small skittering things that I can pounce on and rip to shreds.
and... home now. quiet now. mama pets me. food and litterbox and sunbeam.
make it stop make it stop make the high hurty noises stop!
the big black thing in the living room is making noise with a strange person. and not the interesting noises, the high hurty noises, over and over and over again. i go ask my person to make it stop with lots of purrs and big-eyes and she pets me but she doesn't make it stop!
She may bitch and whine about it, but the human is *so* enslaved to my whims. For I don't come up to cuddle right when she sits down with the computer, oh no. I wait for a while, until her lethargy has well and truly set in and the laptop has made her lap oh so warm and toasty. THEN I appear, purring, nuzzling, blinking up at her with big sleepy eyes. Wreaking havoc on her trackpad by casually draping my paws over it, changing her window focus when she least expects it.
And I am immune to recriminations, for lo, I am cute.
It's good to be me.
*purr* *purr* *purr*
BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD
I caught a bird! Look mama!
Hey where you going? Where bird?
No more play?
No more bird. Sadness.
But. I will lurk. I will stalk. I will catch more bird.
Mama mutters about them bleeding on the carpet. Silly mama. Hasn't she heard of blood play?
i explore. monkeys on the bed again.
"are you having fun climbing mount andrei?" he says. "try k2, it's harder."
i burped in his face.
salty hands to lick. warm body to lie on/under/next to/around.
Once again the humans took off their fur and have hidden themselves under the big, flat, purple moving monster which I will one day destroy.
Right now, I have another problem. I am being stalked by an ugly black snake. It keeps following me. I got the jump on it earlier but it 'turned tail' and ran (so to mew.) You can see it stalking around in the picture of me. (We managed to catch it on film)
I just spent several minutes trying to catch it and wrestle with it on the big, flat, purple, moving monster. The hairier human seemed displeased with this and the purple monster gurgled as well. The monster moved and distracted me from the snake. So I bit the monster. The hairier human must have appreciated by hunting prowess because he shouted something in human in support. It sounded something like, "Ow, she bit my foot again" whatever that means.
The snake seems to have hidden again. So I guess that means it's food time. I think it was food time anyway.